It was fun to see what students were doing well - I couldn't believe all of the similes and metaphors! And it was a great way to point out that commas should be used with compound sentences, that each sentence should have punctuation appropriate to the tone of the piece, and that a change in dialogue should be shown with quotation marks and a new paragraph.
I realized (with some help from a valuable supervisor) that I am a spontaneous teacher. In my efforts to make my instruction optimally authentic, I am giving students full reign of what we focus on in class. There are pros to this: each student gets to feel a sense of published accomplishment with one of their skilled sentences on the board; each student has to be engaged and that engagement is visible; and feedback is direct to that specific student's need. There are also cons: I am leaving my grammar instruction up to chance, so to speak - if students need direct instruction about a specific rule or practice, I have to cross my fingers that some student brings up a related example; I lose a lot of explicit instruction time by having students write their sentences on the board (I only have so many white board markers); I become easily frustrated with my clowning-around students who wrote sentences on the board that were obviously ordinary ("It was cool." Seriously? Gah.).
It was good to learn ways that I could still make this grammar instruction authentic and fat with contextualization while still taking charge of what we focused on as a class. I can pick sentences from their work that relate to topics I need to work with them on. It's still authentic and I'm in charge of what we talk about. Best of both worlds, no?
But at the end of the day, I still felt like the day was a waste. Did they really get anything out of this? I just can't be afraid to include some mini-lessons for extra clarification during this short week, and Heaven knows my rubric for this assignment will need to be a little more explicit, too.
Well - that was some valuable reflection. But I feel a brain vomit coming on. Ready, Set, VENT!
- Oh my gosh, could my classroom have been any hotter today? Typically my classroom is an icicle, which I love because it keeps my students awake. But over the weekend, there was a complete climate change! I was sweating throughout the whole day and most of my students couldn't help but put their heads on their desks and check out. Why do I have no control over this? And how can the success of a day feel so dependent on the temperature of the room? It seems so trivial...
- Seriously, grown ups. Do we have to use the majority of our PLC time arguing about terminology? What really is the meaning of "main idea" vs. "theme?" And though I understand the importance of teaching students specific terms, there is no guarantee that their future teachers are going to use the same terms! Our emphasis should be on the meaning of the word, not the terms that we use to signify it. We have to prepare our students for teachers who will teach differently! Teach them strategies, not absolutes! Strategies are portable. Absolutes are forsaken the second someone teaches it differently.
- Yes, dear student who decided to talk back to me today, I meant "move!" And yes, class, I am going to be the strictest teacher you've ever had if you can't listen to my simplest instructions without making every disrespectful side comment imaginable. So go ahead and roll your eyes at my classroom management, but, boy, you'd better think twice before talking back to me about it. (Do I sound like a mom? Is that a bad thing?)
- Is there a group of parents somewhere that think it would be funny to take their student out of school multiple times in multiple weeks? How am I supposed to teach your student if he/she has been gone for 15 days because of your hunting trips? Isn't school important to you? I swear - my parents never let me even miss school unless I was sick or had a doctor's appointment, and even then there were efforts to get missed work or schedule appointments during a time when it would be the least disruptive to my school day. What happened to school taking priority?
- I Bcc-ed the principal on our PLC notes today. It was really at the recommendation of our department chair, but is it extremely self-centered to admit that I was giddy to show that I was doing something valuable for our department by taking notes every Monday? Cause I was... And then I was even more giddy to receive a reply from the principal reminding other departments about reporting back on our common assessments (which just happened to be the topic of the notes I'd sent to him just hours earlier). Even the hint that I could be doing something right is heart-warming. I can do this... I can do this... I can do this...
- My mentor teacher came to chat with me today and gave me one of the nicest compliments I've ever received: "Everything you do just seems to work together so nicely." He was commenting on how every assignment I give is not only related to the activity or text we're reading, it also turns student attention to valuable student skills. Yes, dear mentor, I've been working on that for a long time. Thank you for taking the time to notice and for offering up a sincere compliment. Why don't teachers do that more?
- Be solution oriented people! Don't turn down a lowly intern's simple suggestion just because you have 40+ students in your i-time and "there's no way" that the suggestion could ever work for you. Really - I was just trying to help. It had worked for me and I was excited to contribute. Well, here's to another month of getting up the courage to try again. This time, dear colleague, please don't shoot me down point blank.
- I need to go spend some time at the BYU library in the juvenile lit section. Those children's books are so valuable - it gets students into a text and engages them while offering opportunities to draw attention to good writing. I wish I was Deborah Dean and had her office full of children's books. Please, please, please, can I be Debbie Dean? That is probably the biggest frustration of being a new teacher: my supply of texts (both literary and informational) is so slim. I feel like this is the biggest time concern for me - I have to find valuable texts to use in each of my units, and I have no idea where to start!
- Why do you have to remove my entire front white board to put in the new technology? I understand that's the best place, but really?
- Please, please, please fix the locks on the faculty Women's bathroom soon. PLEASE! I can't keep being afraid to use the bathroom during the day. I just can't. So please. Yes, I'm begging.
- I spend way too much time thinking about all of this... I'm going to go home, put in a movie, and get to grading. Oh yeah. Bring it on. I'm already feeling overwhelmed, and it's only Monday.
- If this entire post felt soggy with cynicism, I apologize. I promise everything is great - I just needed a day to complain "aloud." Here's to returning to my chipper self tomorrow!
Thank heavens for Fall break.
Cali, I am afraid that your extreme competence causes me to fail to express to you how well you do. For that, I apologize. You should know that the submission of your timely and well organized lesson plans, the coherence of your units, the fact that I never have to remind you to turn in a form, an assignment, schedule an observation, and that I can use any of these that I pull at random as exemplar texts for teachers to come all make you an intern of the highest caliber. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
ReplyDeleteSometimes in teaching we get so caught up in wanting to be better that we forget to focus on the great things already happening. The fact that you clue into these frustrations instead of flowing with the status quo is an indicator that you will shortly be making waves in positive ways, so those that don't agree or are content to sit by better get ready to move. Of course you're not perfect, but no teacher is.
I just had a chat with Dr. Dean outside our offices. I too want to be her; I think that's a good goal for both of us. She was lamenting an assignment her students had done that seemed less than what she was expecting and wondered, "Was it me or them that dropped the ball?" You and I would both probably say it was them since we have seen her teach, but here is the lesson: if a teacher like her is having those moments at this stage of her game, then it's okay for you and me to have them too. Just can't get too overwhelmed by them that you forget about all the great things that are happening.
So to conclude, it's great to be a spontaneous teacher and to have the skill set to be able to take advantage of those teachable moments. Just don't exhaust yourself by doing that:) Cut yourself some slack and remember that you are doing so much right and that you are way ahead of the pack right now. If you need a reminder, see paragraph one:)