Remember yesterday's vent?
You know...
The one right after my lethal 4th period class?
I apologize.
Yes, I'm super frustrated, but when my 6th period 7th graders came in after I cooled down, I took a deep breath, put a smile on my face, cracked a couple of jokes, let the class know I was human, and moved on.
And when the end of the day rolled around, I was happy. Contentedly blissful, actually.
I still had a WHOLE bunch of students failing, but I could move on.
Today, I'm remembering to breath and not act like my class is the end of the world. Because it's not. Nope. Never.
So yeah.
Today was much better.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
VENTING
I'm tired. So beware.
I can't fight for students who won't fight for themselves. I've conferenced with a student who is failing my class, given him opportunities to catch up on his missing work and he doesn't take it. I come up with alternative arrangements, and he doesn't do it. I email and call his parents to make them aware of his grade in my class. Nothing. Then he gets checked out of school today by someone else's parent for a birthday LUNCH for another student in my class who is failing. Right in the middle of class I have 5 students waltz in making all kinds of noise saying to this particular student, "Dude, let's go!" No note. No nothing. The student packs up his stuff, grins at me because he knows just how pissed off I am inside, and says, "See ya."
Don't we have ANY protocols at all here?
This student has failed my class for two terms and come begging to me the last day of term about how he can get his grades up. I told him last term I wouldn't do it again.
Can I stick to my word?
I have to show my students that it doesn't get to me. I think I'm way too emotional about that student.
Sad to say, but all of my students with "I"s at this moment just don't care. I've sat them down individually, set goals with them, written a million sticky notes that document what they've committed to do, and then nothing. Nothing.
How do you stop caring? How do you stop looking at your gradebook and feeling like a failure because half of your class is failing. Not because of a lack of skills but because of a lack of responsibility?
Oh middle school... What will I do with you?
I'm going home early today. I'm going home early and I'm leaving work here. I'm going to go find a happy place and leave all of this behind. Because tomorrow, I'm not caring (at least visibly to them). Maybe with some reverse psychology (aka: me looking like I don't care if they get that assignment in or not and me not asking about that book report I've reminded them about a million times), they'll get this stuff done.
What can I say. End of term is next week. We'll see who my deathbed repenters are.
And as always, there's that voice asking in the back of my head, "Is this me? Is there something I could have done better? Is this my failure, too?"
Yeah... I hate that voice...
I can't fight for students who won't fight for themselves. I've conferenced with a student who is failing my class, given him opportunities to catch up on his missing work and he doesn't take it. I come up with alternative arrangements, and he doesn't do it. I email and call his parents to make them aware of his grade in my class. Nothing. Then he gets checked out of school today by someone else's parent for a birthday LUNCH for another student in my class who is failing. Right in the middle of class I have 5 students waltz in making all kinds of noise saying to this particular student, "Dude, let's go!" No note. No nothing. The student packs up his stuff, grins at me because he knows just how pissed off I am inside, and says, "See ya."
Don't we have ANY protocols at all here?
This student has failed my class for two terms and come begging to me the last day of term about how he can get his grades up. I told him last term I wouldn't do it again.
Can I stick to my word?
I have to show my students that it doesn't get to me. I think I'm way too emotional about that student.
Sad to say, but all of my students with "I"s at this moment just don't care. I've sat them down individually, set goals with them, written a million sticky notes that document what they've committed to do, and then nothing. Nothing.
How do you stop caring? How do you stop looking at your gradebook and feeling like a failure because half of your class is failing. Not because of a lack of skills but because of a lack of responsibility?
Oh middle school... What will I do with you?
I'm going home early today. I'm going home early and I'm leaving work here. I'm going to go find a happy place and leave all of this behind. Because tomorrow, I'm not caring (at least visibly to them). Maybe with some reverse psychology (aka: me looking like I don't care if they get that assignment in or not and me not asking about that book report I've reminded them about a million times), they'll get this stuff done.
What can I say. End of term is next week. We'll see who my deathbed repenters are.
And as always, there's that voice asking in the back of my head, "Is this me? Is there something I could have done better? Is this my failure, too?"
Yeah... I hate that voice...
Monday, March 11, 2013
What I Can't Teach...
When my students came in today and showed me that they didn't do their assigned homework for the 3rd time in a row (not third time not doing homework, but third time not doing the same homework that had only been assigned again because they hadn't done it the first time), I had an epiphany.
I can't teach my students to work hard. Sure, I can teach them why they should. Sure, I can persuade them with figures and numbers and holding points over their heads. Sure, I can show them by example. But when my students sit and refuse to work - or refuse to even try - I can't teach them.
How grateful I am for parents who taught me to work hard. To look at challenges with optimism and gumption rather than fear and failure. So, I'm looking at this challenge, and I'm not giving up. I will not pull back my high expectations for them. I will move forward and hope they learn that life (and my class) is much easier when you work hard and come prepared.
Wish me luck.
I can't teach my students to work hard. Sure, I can teach them why they should. Sure, I can persuade them with figures and numbers and holding points over their heads. Sure, I can show them by example. But when my students sit and refuse to work - or refuse to even try - I can't teach them.
How grateful I am for parents who taught me to work hard. To look at challenges with optimism and gumption rather than fear and failure. So, I'm looking at this challenge, and I'm not giving up. I will not pull back my high expectations for them. I will move forward and hope they learn that life (and my class) is much easier when you work hard and come prepared.
Wish me luck.
Friday, March 8, 2013
One by One
So, today was fun. Since I was gone yesterday at the Librarian's conference in Ogden, I left my students with the sub doing a "Research Day." The day before we'd talked about how to evaluate sources, how to search specific terms, etc. so I thought they'd be good with all the strategies I left them (I even put reminders of those strategies on the board before I left).
I obviously haven't learned my lesson yet about SUB days. Students rarely focus when a sub is there. So did that assigned work get done? Nope.
Oh well.
Regardless of this, I set high expectations today. My challenge was for them to take the research and evidence they had found and start making their outline for their essays. I asked all students who were having issues finding sources to raise their hands. I wrote down the names of those students, noted the ones I knew were probably most in need, and I got the class working independently. Then I called each student on my list up to my desk one-by-one. I asked them guiding questions, I had them talk out their ideas, I encouraged good searching practices, and then I sent them back.
And you know something - I got more smiles and "Thanks, Mrs. Brown"s than I ever have before. Yes, were there students that were probably off task because I wasn't actively monitoring their iPad searching? I'm sure of it. But I don't regret the decision to help those students who were having issues.
When it comes to writing, I think I can do a better job breaking things down into chewable bites. Who says they have to complete the entire outline before they start writing? Could I have them choose one mini-claim (topic sentence) to find evidence for and walk them through beginning stages to finished, polished paragraph stages? That may be on my list of things to try!
I did have 7 BYU students come and visit me today. My BYU supervisor is teaching a Reading Instruction class and they were given the assignment to come and observe the "presence" of reading in a real-life classroom. It was a little daunting when, in the 3 hours after I spoke with my supervisor, I had 5 emails asking to come and observe today, but it was actually a relief when they came. I'm always thinking about good teaching practices, but when someone's in the room, you become more aware of the WHY behind the practice, and much more aware of the consequences of teaching choices (probably because I'm thinking, What would they think if I did this? So I decided not to...)
After they left, I did realize that I think I can create a better balance of reading and writing in my classroom. My students have been reading all year, but usually they read as a way to get them INTO a writing practice or assignment. Maybe I could use a change of perspective: maybe writing is simply the way for them to convey to me what they think about what they READ.
Is it practically the same thing? Yeah. But I think the perspective change would help me be more purposeful with teaching to the READING SKILLS as well as teaching to the WRITING SKILLS.
Right now, I'm going to finish the grading I have to get done before the weekend, and then I'm going to celebrate the end of the week.
Boy - it's been a long one.
I obviously haven't learned my lesson yet about SUB days. Students rarely focus when a sub is there. So did that assigned work get done? Nope.
Oh well.
Regardless of this, I set high expectations today. My challenge was for them to take the research and evidence they had found and start making their outline for their essays. I asked all students who were having issues finding sources to raise their hands. I wrote down the names of those students, noted the ones I knew were probably most in need, and I got the class working independently. Then I called each student on my list up to my desk one-by-one. I asked them guiding questions, I had them talk out their ideas, I encouraged good searching practices, and then I sent them back.
And you know something - I got more smiles and "Thanks, Mrs. Brown"s than I ever have before. Yes, were there students that were probably off task because I wasn't actively monitoring their iPad searching? I'm sure of it. But I don't regret the decision to help those students who were having issues.
When it comes to writing, I think I can do a better job breaking things down into chewable bites. Who says they have to complete the entire outline before they start writing? Could I have them choose one mini-claim (topic sentence) to find evidence for and walk them through beginning stages to finished, polished paragraph stages? That may be on my list of things to try!
I did have 7 BYU students come and visit me today. My BYU supervisor is teaching a Reading Instruction class and they were given the assignment to come and observe the "presence" of reading in a real-life classroom. It was a little daunting when, in the 3 hours after I spoke with my supervisor, I had 5 emails asking to come and observe today, but it was actually a relief when they came. I'm always thinking about good teaching practices, but when someone's in the room, you become more aware of the WHY behind the practice, and much more aware of the consequences of teaching choices (probably because I'm thinking, What would they think if I did this? So I decided not to...)
After they left, I did realize that I think I can create a better balance of reading and writing in my classroom. My students have been reading all year, but usually they read as a way to get them INTO a writing practice or assignment. Maybe I could use a change of perspective: maybe writing is simply the way for them to convey to me what they think about what they READ.
Is it practically the same thing? Yeah. But I think the perspective change would help me be more purposeful with teaching to the READING SKILLS as well as teaching to the WRITING SKILLS.
Right now, I'm going to finish the grading I have to get done before the weekend, and then I'm going to celebrate the end of the week.
Boy - it's been a long one.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
The STATE of State Testing...
Oh. My. Heavens.
I'm officially traumatized people. Today marks the beginning of one of the English/Lanugage Arts state tests - the DWA. Let me tell you, these tests are STRESS CENTRAL. Watching each of my students making small errors - things I would normally stop and address with them personally in class - is killing me.
No, student sitting there with "i" not capitalized, there is no autocorrect! Go back and fix it!
But I can't say these things.
It's like I'm stifling myself. My current inner mantra - Don't say anything that isn't written in the manual. Don't say anything that isn't written in the manual. Don't say anything...
BUT THEY KNOW IT! I KNOW THEY DO! I HAVE MY OWN ASSESSMENTS TO PROVE IT! THEY'RE JUST STRESSED AND SCATTERED RIGHT NOW! LIKE ME!
Don't say anything that isn't written in the manual.... Right?
Being both a 7th and 8th grade English teacher, I'm dying. The 7th grade teachers decided to do their common assessments today and tomorrow as well. So, I'm running with my head trailing three feet behind me because I literally have to be in two places at once. The DWA is not timed, so I had students that started working into the next class period (lucky/unlucky for me that was lunch), but I was technically supposed to be in my classroom so that my next class of students could drop off their iPads in my room before lunch.
Thank you to my blessed neighboring teacher who let them into my room through our secret office doorway. There was no way I could leave students unsupervised while they were still testing while still keeping my job.
Oh and did I mention that we - in the ten minutes before school started - decided to change the text for our 7th grade common assessment test? Yup.
Planning. It might be a department weakness. But, it's all a learning experience, right?
All the while, I'm sitting here in emotional-panic mode. Did I do enough? Did I prep them enough? Did I teach them all the things that really matter for this test? I know I did, but I sit here wondering if it was enough for each of my wonderful students. I want to fight for them so badly, but this is the time when I have to surrender the teacher within and watch them shine. Hopefully. ;) And then I'm thinking, why didn't I prepare more? Why didn't I prepare better?
So, here's my resolution for next year. I will overwhelm my students with models of good writing. Before they begin, I want them to see good models, take notes on those models, analyze those models, and then receive additional explicit instruction about what to put in their writing. All of my students responded so well when I created models for them to look at, but I know I could have done that more. I just know I used to be the kind of student that looked at the models and was paralyzed, so I usually showed good models AFTER my students finished their first drafts because I didn't want them simply copying the model. I know my creativity was gone when I saw the model first as a student. I could only see it being done that way! But, if it's the right way, or the best way, or even a really good way, is that such a bad thing?
So, I'm taking deep breaths and creating models to use for any remediation efforts over the next few weeks...
Easy there, baby teacher. You can't be perfect yet. Just look at the opportunities to improve for tomorrow and for next year.
And then breath some more.
I'm officially traumatized people. Today marks the beginning of one of the English/Lanugage Arts state tests - the DWA. Let me tell you, these tests are STRESS CENTRAL. Watching each of my students making small errors - things I would normally stop and address with them personally in class - is killing me.
No, student sitting there with "i" not capitalized, there is no autocorrect! Go back and fix it!
But I can't say these things.
It's like I'm stifling myself. My current inner mantra - Don't say anything that isn't written in the manual. Don't say anything that isn't written in the manual. Don't say anything...
BUT THEY KNOW IT! I KNOW THEY DO! I HAVE MY OWN ASSESSMENTS TO PROVE IT! THEY'RE JUST STRESSED AND SCATTERED RIGHT NOW! LIKE ME!
Don't say anything that isn't written in the manual.... Right?
Being both a 7th and 8th grade English teacher, I'm dying. The 7th grade teachers decided to do their common assessments today and tomorrow as well. So, I'm running with my head trailing three feet behind me because I literally have to be in two places at once. The DWA is not timed, so I had students that started working into the next class period (lucky/unlucky for me that was lunch), but I was technically supposed to be in my classroom so that my next class of students could drop off their iPads in my room before lunch.
Thank you to my blessed neighboring teacher who let them into my room through our secret office doorway. There was no way I could leave students unsupervised while they were still testing while still keeping my job.
Oh and did I mention that we - in the ten minutes before school started - decided to change the text for our 7th grade common assessment test? Yup.
Planning. It might be a department weakness. But, it's all a learning experience, right?
All the while, I'm sitting here in emotional-panic mode. Did I do enough? Did I prep them enough? Did I teach them all the things that really matter for this test? I know I did, but I sit here wondering if it was enough for each of my wonderful students. I want to fight for them so badly, but this is the time when I have to surrender the teacher within and watch them shine. Hopefully. ;) And then I'm thinking, why didn't I prepare more? Why didn't I prepare better?
So, here's my resolution for next year. I will overwhelm my students with models of good writing. Before they begin, I want them to see good models, take notes on those models, analyze those models, and then receive additional explicit instruction about what to put in their writing. All of my students responded so well when I created models for them to look at, but I know I could have done that more. I just know I used to be the kind of student that looked at the models and was paralyzed, so I usually showed good models AFTER my students finished their first drafts because I didn't want them simply copying the model. I know my creativity was gone when I saw the model first as a student. I could only see it being done that way! But, if it's the right way, or the best way, or even a really good way, is that such a bad thing?
So, I'm taking deep breaths and creating models to use for any remediation efforts over the next few weeks...
Easy there, baby teacher. You can't be perfect yet. Just look at the opportunities to improve for tomorrow and for next year.
And then breath some more.
Friday, February 15, 2013
Oh the Drama...
I LOVE English teachers.
I kind of have to since I AM one.
But I didn't realize how English teachers are oftentimes perceived by other teachers in the school. We're needy. Dramatic. Way too serious for our own good.
Why?
Well - have you seen the Common Core for Language Arts? I mean really? In comparison to the Core for Science? Or Math? Ours is a short novel. Theirs is a page. Or two.
So it's been kind of fun to be a part of/privy to the drama between curriculums.
The counseling center needs to make a presentation to all 8th grade students. They choose to do so during English classes; however, 8th graders have the DWA test in a few weeks, so that decision didn't go over well with 8th grade English teachers.
So now they're doing the presentation in Science classes.
The CRTs (end of level tests) are being scheduled. I put some pressure on the teacher in charge of the testing scheduling to find out when English was going to be doing their CRTs (because I want to make sure I CAN ACTUALLY GO TO MY GRADUATION without worrying about missing the end of level tests for my students). Found out English is going first. Found out this is not the first time they are going first. Also found out that this has been a sensitive point for the department for a LONG time.
And I wonder why some of my students think I take my job or my lessons too seriously. ;)
Speaking of tests, I'm doing some preparation and investigation to make sure that my students are prepared for the format of our end of level tests, as well as for the kinds of questions they are going to be asked. I've gotten a few model tests from other states, but I'm still on the lookout for some good tools. If anyone knows of any, let me know!
I kind of have to since I AM one.
But I didn't realize how English teachers are oftentimes perceived by other teachers in the school. We're needy. Dramatic. Way too serious for our own good.
Why?
Well - have you seen the Common Core for Language Arts? I mean really? In comparison to the Core for Science? Or Math? Ours is a short novel. Theirs is a page. Or two.
So it's been kind of fun to be a part of/privy to the drama between curriculums.
The counseling center needs to make a presentation to all 8th grade students. They choose to do so during English classes; however, 8th graders have the DWA test in a few weeks, so that decision didn't go over well with 8th grade English teachers.
So now they're doing the presentation in Science classes.
The CRTs (end of level tests) are being scheduled. I put some pressure on the teacher in charge of the testing scheduling to find out when English was going to be doing their CRTs (because I want to make sure I CAN ACTUALLY GO TO MY GRADUATION without worrying about missing the end of level tests for my students). Found out English is going first. Found out this is not the first time they are going first. Also found out that this has been a sensitive point for the department for a LONG time.
And I wonder why some of my students think I take my job or my lessons too seriously. ;)
Speaking of tests, I'm doing some preparation and investigation to make sure that my students are prepared for the format of our end of level tests, as well as for the kinds of questions they are going to be asked. I've gotten a few model tests from other states, but I'm still on the lookout for some good tools. If anyone knows of any, let me know!
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Oh how far I've come...
Sorry about the break. I promise, I've been teaching, but it's all been a whirlwind to me.
My darling practicum student has come and taught twice this week and has done such a good job. It was a HUGE learning experience for me. For the first period of her instruction, I watched her stand at the front of her classroom and do her thing (beautifully, of course), but this thing inside of me kept calling out, "Get away from the front of the classroom. They're not paying attention to you! Look out at them! I see 10+ students that are definitely not looking at the handout you sent to them..."
Then, I remembered. The intern I taught some lessons for said almost those exact same words to me after my first lesson in his class.
It felt good to realize that this little baby teacher has done some monumental growing in the last year.
Also, something happened yesterday. A good something. Here's the email I sent out to those people I wanted to tell...
My darling practicum student has come and taught twice this week and has done such a good job. It was a HUGE learning experience for me. For the first period of her instruction, I watched her stand at the front of her classroom and do her thing (beautifully, of course), but this thing inside of me kept calling out, "Get away from the front of the classroom. They're not paying attention to you! Look out at them! I see 10+ students that are definitely not looking at the handout you sent to them..."
Then, I remembered. The intern I taught some lessons for said almost those exact same words to me after my first lesson in his class.
It felt good to realize that this little baby teacher has done some monumental growing in the last year.
Also, something happened yesterday. A good something. Here's the email I sent out to those people I wanted to tell...
After talking to some other teachers at the school and many prayers, I went to see Jarod, the principal at my school, just with the plan of asking about some substitute request forms I had submitted for the upcoming months.
He answered my questions then stated, "Hey, I might have an answer for you about us by next week. Some things have come to my attention, and I may know sooner than I indicated before. I need you, and I'm willing to tell BYU 'No' to another intern to keep you. You'd have to go through the application process of course, but I just wanted to let you know."
Of course my heart was racing, but I seemed to manage a somewhat professional reply by saying, "Jarod, I would submit 100 different applications if it meant I got to be a part of this school. Thanks for keeping me updated."
I just wanted to let each of you know. And I wanted to thank you for the support you have been to me as I've gone through these past few months. It has been a wonderful experience for me to learn and to grow and to grow in my own confidence as a teacher as well.
Extra prayers and crossed fingers!
Believe me, I'll keep you posted either way. :D
Then, today, Jarod came in with the Superintendent of the district to observe my remediation time. My students were all hard at work on their iPads. It was the perfect moment for an observation, and my sigh of relief was probably audible after they left my room. Yay.
I have been so incredibly blessed, and I'm so glad that so much of what I do seems to be second nature:
- Cold call on a student who you anticipate is off task. Yup. Did that today without thinking and saw 5 other students sit up a bit taller in their chairs afterwards to prevent the same fate.
- Walk around the classroom as I'm teaching to ensure I have everyones attention and so that I can monitor student progress WHILE I'm teaching. Not easy, but I've gotten WAY better.
- Set expectations regularly. I'm still, to this day, raising my hand and saying, "Raise your hand..." before I actually ask a question. Do I still have students who don't meet that expectation? Yes. But at least now I know it's not because they didn't know what was expected.
- Do the WE-WE-WE-WE-WE part over and over again before expecting your students to do it successfully on their own.
I'm telling you - I'm learning SO much.
But the DWA test is in less than two weeks and I have SOOOO much more practice to do. So - I'm off!
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