Oh. My. Heavens.
I'm officially traumatized people. Today marks the beginning of one of the English/Lanugage Arts state tests - the DWA. Let me tell you, these tests are STRESS CENTRAL. Watching each of my students making small errors - things I would normally stop and address with them personally in class - is killing me.
No, student sitting there with "i" not capitalized, there is no autocorrect! Go back and fix it!
But I can't say these things.
It's like I'm stifling myself. My current inner mantra - Don't say anything that isn't written in the manual. Don't say anything that isn't written in the manual. Don't say anything...
BUT THEY KNOW IT! I KNOW THEY DO! I HAVE MY OWN ASSESSMENTS TO PROVE IT! THEY'RE JUST STRESSED AND SCATTERED RIGHT NOW! LIKE ME!
Don't say anything that isn't written in the manual.... Right?
Being both a 7th and 8th grade English teacher, I'm dying. The 7th grade teachers decided to do their common assessments today and tomorrow as well. So, I'm running with my head trailing three feet behind me because I literally have to be in two places at once. The DWA is not timed, so I had students that started working into the next class period (lucky/unlucky for me that was lunch), but I was technically supposed to be in my classroom so that my next class of students could drop off their iPads in my room before lunch.
Thank you to my blessed neighboring teacher who let them into my room through our secret office doorway. There was no way I could leave students unsupervised while they were still testing while still keeping my job.
Oh and did I mention that we - in the ten minutes before school started - decided to change the text for our 7th grade common assessment test? Yup.
Planning. It might be a department weakness. But, it's all a learning experience, right?
All the while, I'm sitting here in emotional-panic mode. Did I do enough? Did I prep them enough? Did I teach them all the things that really matter for this test? I know I did, but I sit here wondering if it was enough for each of my wonderful students. I want to fight for them so badly, but this is the time when I have to surrender the teacher within and watch them shine. Hopefully. ;) And then I'm thinking, why didn't I prepare more? Why didn't I prepare better?
So, here's my resolution for next year. I will overwhelm my students with models of good writing. Before they begin, I want them to see good models, take notes on those models, analyze those models, and then receive additional explicit instruction about what to put in their writing. All of my students responded so well when I created models for them to look at, but I know I could have done that more. I just know I used to be the kind of student that looked at the models and was paralyzed, so I usually showed good models AFTER my students finished their first drafts because I didn't want them simply copying the model. I know my creativity was gone when I saw the model first as a student. I could only see it being done that way! But, if it's the right way, or the best way, or even a really good way, is that such a bad thing?
So, I'm taking deep breaths and creating models to use for any remediation efforts over the next few weeks...
Easy there, baby teacher. You can't be perfect yet. Just look at the opportunities to improve for tomorrow and for next year.
And then breath some more.
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