On my toes...

You can't fall behind in this job. Ever. And when I say falling behind, I mean if you're not thinking one month ahead at all times (and further than that, actually), then you're falling behind.

If I have one night where I plan on grading but get overwhelmed by the fact that it's my responsibility to charge 26 iPads overnight (but I can't take them from the school, and I can't charge them outside of my little office which can be locked, and I only have one power strip), the fact that our apartment is a disaster area, the fact I haven't had an actual conversation with my husband since Sunday, or my church responsibilities, I'm in trouble. Yes folks, I did not get all my grading done.

But I had told my students the night before that I would have it all graded. I promised. (My crazy rationale for this decision? I thought it would keep me accountable. Force me to grade. I had promised. If I didn't make good on my word, I would lose credibility with my students.)

I'm sad to say that my decision in light of my failure was to lie. In a mad rush, I stapled student assignments together and handed back the graded and ungraded work. To each period I claimed, "Your period was the only class I didn't get to give grades to on the assignment from yesterday."

Yes, I lied. Again. I do it a lot. Like the "FINAL" deadline I keep harping about to my students which is next week. Is that the FINAL deadline? No. But I know I'm not going to get legitimate work from them unless I tell them it's the final and then give them a "last chance revision" opportunity (Which is really the final drafting stage).

Oddly enough, it worked in my favor. It meant students didn't take the assignment with them (I wanted to keep it because they need it for their final project and I know if I give it back to my 7th and 8th graders, I will never see it again. It will be lost forever). I warned them that if they did, they wouldn't get their scores for that assignment. Motivation to do what I asked them to? Seemed to work.

And then - came 6th period - OH. MY. GOSH.

No one trains you about what to do when a student goes completely berserk in your classroom. How on earth do you even teach when you've got a student dropping f-bombs when you hand back an assignment and they're not happy, when you've got a student banging on your classroom door when you asked them to wait outside for a private conversation with you, when you've got a student refusing to listen, inviting you into a power struggle which you know will not end well and you avoid at all costs, all the while looking into the eyes of the rest of your class knowing that today is not a great day for your lesson. Forget the lesson.

I should have asked what was school protocol for taking a student to the principal the first week I was here, but I didn't. Good thing I have some kind of teacher instinct when this particular student looked up at me (literally. He was sitting on the ground with his legs against the door so I couldn't close it) and said, to my threat that I would have him go into another teacher's classroom until he could make better choices, "I don't care. I'm just going to do the same thing there." I walked into my classroom, jumped my students right to their independent learning activity (though I hadn't really done any instruction up to that point), put one student in charge of letting me know if anyone misbehaved while I was away, popped into another teacher's room to ask them to keep an eye on my classroom, and escorted the student to the main office. I didn't know about the physical forms to fill out, but I did immediately enter a log note in the school reporting system detailing all of the situation.

Wow.

It was draining....

Even now... I'm a ball of nerves. Good thing I have a great relationship with said student's mom, though. I got an email from her, while I was drafting one to her, and there was no "How dare you..." or "Why didn't you do ..." or "I'm pulling my student from your class..." It was all apologetic and informative.

Did I do it right? Please, someone, I need to know I didn't screw things up big time. I'm fearful that I've now opened the door to a dangerous formula - he knows he gets out of class and gets to go "help" in the office if he misbehaves for me, so will he keep doing it?

All of my nightmarish summer experiences with daycare are flooding back into my mind, and I'm so worried that it will become like that - where it's my responsibility to keep him under control and the people in charge can't be bothered with little kid issues when I desperately need it. If my job is to teach, how can I do my job when one student is doing all he can to ensure I am unsuccessful in doing said joob? One other teacher told me to just let him go: "It's not our job to lock students in our classroom. If they're making it difficult for other students to learn, open the door for them and get them out. My door's not locked from the inside. That's what administration is for."

So here's some tips I have to remember which is why I'm putting them here:
- Pair up with another teacher who knows that if this particular student comes in, it's simply to calm down and get under control. Make an unspoken agreement so that nothing needs to be said when it happens.
- Don't talk about the behavior with the student the next day. Every day is a fresh slate. Don't hold their past behavior against them and don't remind them.
- Rather than send a student to the principal, send them to counseling (especially if the behavior is repetitive). Then, the student can't get away with just sitting in the office. They will have to meet with someone who will ask them questions - questions they probably don't want to have to answer, so that will be less of a "reward."
- Make some goals with the student. For every day without any incidents, put an m&m or something in a jar. When the jar's full they get a prize. Every time they act up, you have to take an m&m out of the jar. It sounds extremely childish (especially since it came from my limited experience with daycare students, but what the hey. If he's going to act like a 4-year-old, then 4-year-old behavior tactics should work, right?).

I'm going home. Now. Forget prepping for tomorrow (for now). I think I'll start our drafting one day earlier than planned. Student work time. Hallelujah. We'll see what happens tomorrow...

For now. I have two words left:

Ice. Cream.