A Reputation of Understanding...

After yesterday's less-than-professional lesson, I was bound and determined to build up a better reputation for myself. What I'm learning is that this construction has to be brick by brick, student by student.

I had invited a few students to conference with me after school. One had been absent for almost 3 weeks (I actually thought she'd withdrawn from the school or moved or something) and the other just didn't do one of our large assignments and I wanted to force him to work for something!

I was conferencing with them about the first novel they were supposed to read and finish by Sept. 11th. Obviously the young girl who was actually in the hospital wasn't here when the project for the novel was due. They were both going to summarize their book for me, come up with a theme and defend their choice with evidence from the book. It's an alternative assignment, and I thought it was a good idea.

The young man, who was simply too lazy/busy/unengaged to do the assignment went first. It was obvious he read the book (I googled the book review before he met with me) and I was impressed by his understanding of theme. I hassled him for not getting the assignment done and told him I wouldn't give him the points for the project, but I wouldn't give him a zero. He seemed pleased.

But the young woman was a different story. She had picked a book from my shelf: Island of the Blue Dolphins. One of my childhood favorites. When I excitedly asked her to tell me what the story was about she began by telling me it was about a group of people - a large group of people - who lived on an island. Then a boat came with food and supplies and the island people loved all of the new things, so they had a really hard time when the boat had to leave. There was a girl and her brother who tried to make some of the things the boat brought to them but couldn't. Around this point, I started to mentally panic.

I knew she was lying. The book was actually about a girl who was deserted on an island by herself for years and years. But should I call her out on the lie? And how? She was so sweet and shy - I knew the "I'm so disappointed in you" Mrs. Brown was not the option for this situation.

When she finished, I took the book off of the desk (she had been fingering it during her summary, but I guess she'd never thought to read the teaser on the back!). I said, "(Student), you do know it's okay if you didn't actually read the book, right?"

"But I did, Mrs. Brown. I did read it."

"Hun, this is one of my all time favorite stories. It's actually about a girl who was deserted on an island all by herself for several years. It's about how she survives."

"Wait, but . . ."

I can see her eyes start to fill with tears. I put my hand upon hers and looked at her with compassion. "(Student), it's okay. You were in the hospital! I do not expect your number one concern to be MY homework when you're sick!"

I could tell she still didn't believe me. "(Student), I would so much rather you be honest with me - that way I can help! I can know what's going on and we can work together! Were you scared to tell me you didn't get to finish the book?"

"I just didn't want to disappoint you, Mrs. Brown."

I literally wanted to just take her in my arms and love her forever. "Oh, (Student), being sick and absent would never disappoint me. I had students who were here everyday that you were gone that still didn't read the book! Now that's disappointing! I am not disappointed in you, in the least."

The rest of our conversation was lovely. Her tears turned to smiles and laughs and she left my room with a sweet parting: "Thanks for being so understanding, Mrs. Brown."

I'm telling you - reputations are built one brick at a time. I know at least one student has the confidence to turn to me in times of need, and, for now, that feels great. Sometimes I have to remind myself to pause my curriculum, my lessons, and my plans and remember these students are human. And sometimes, the human lessons are much more important than mine.