Anyone have a time machine?

I cannot begin to express how much I want a time machine. Desperately need a time machine.

Throughout my study at college, I was captivated by the idea of teaching students how to break the grammar rules. I couldn't wait to show them sentences that started with "But" or "And" to show them how their old English teachers were just too lazy to explain that they could do this...just in the right way. I understood the students needed to know the rules in order to be able to "break" them the right way, but I just didn't realize how much they DON'T know.

Today was our READER RESPONSE day.

I'm not going to talk about the fact that most of my students completely forgot or weren't prepared. Nope. Not going to talk about it.

Monday, or READER RESPONSE day, is a chance for the students to share what they've been reading at home with the rest of the class. It's the way that I decided I wanted to consistently draw attention to sentence structure, grammar, etc. In some classes, it totally worked. At least it did until I asked the question, "So guys, where is the subject in this sentence?"

Blank stares.

Possible crickets.

"The subject guys....?"

Still blank crickets.

"The person or thing doing the action?..."

Response: "Uh...the eyes?"

"Do you guys know what I mean when I say the subject of the sentence?"

Response: "Like what the sentence is about?"

I had to take a moment to compose myself and completely readjust my entire perspective of this lesson.

Where is that book that no one ever wrote that tells me what seventh graders can and cannot do by the time they start school? Because I thought I remembered covering subject and verb much earlier in my schooling! Seriously - please - I need that book. Someone write it. Like now.

Honestly, I already feel like I've done these students a complete disservice by being their teacher. I had no idea that they had no conception of the basics of grammar at this point in their lives! PLEASE! I need a time machine. I need to know how and when I learned these things because I feel like I've known in my whole life! Which is so not the case but still....

So it's back to the drawing board again, with a better idea of what to expect. This READER RESPONSE idea could still work, but I'm definitely going to have to take a much more "basic" perspective to talk about sentence structure.

I'm praying that these students still learned something. I have nightmares at times about students going on to 8th or 9th grade: their teachers will say something like, "Didn't your 7th/8th grade teacher teach you anything?" and they'll say, "No," or "Not really."

At least each day is a chance to reevaluate my expectations of what the students can and cannot do. At least I'm learning. I'm crossing my fingers I can say the same for them.

For now - fake it 'til you make it, right?