I should be grading.
I should be revising the rest of the week's lesson plans.
I should be noting students who are not doing well and planning interventions.
But all I can do is sit here and cry.
Remember that big assignment that was due today? Their Reading at Home book poster?
Two of my periods had less than 50% of the students turn something in.
I still have two more periods to go.
What did I do wrong?
I spent most of those periods on my soap box, lecturing on the importance of responsibility in real life. Contextualizing responsibility for them.
"Most of you said you just forgot to do the assignment. You had a responsibility. In a few years when you get your driver's licenses, what's going to happen if you just forgot to stop at the stop sign?" (timid student replies, "You'll get a ticket.") "Yeah - you'll get a fine, your insurance costs could go up, and you may get points on your license. There are consequences! What happens when you get your first job and you sleep in? Or you forget to do a project you were assigned? Is your boss going to take the excuse that you were really busy? That you were really tired? That at least you did 30% of the project?" (less timid student replies, "No. You'd get fired.")
I proceeded to tell the students that school is their job right now. I told them that school wasn't just there for them to learn multiplication tables and grammar. It was to teach them how to exist in this world, in this society where they will have certain responsibilities and expectations.
I told them I wasn't going to lower my expectations for them.
Still, what did I do wrong?
I provided time in class for them to find a book. I provided practice exercises in class for some of the requirements of the poster. I reminded them every single day of the September 11th deadline. I offered help to those who were worried about finishing in time. What more could I have done?
I realize this is our first big project of the year. I realize they are probably still trying to understand my expectations. I realize that I could probably afford to give them more time to work on these things in class. But where's the balance between keeping those high expectations for them to be proactive students and providing opportunities for them to do the work on your time so that they don't fall so desperately behind?
The sad part is that I want to put a lot of this blame on the students - THEY didn't do it. THEY forgot. THEY didn't make it a priority for the past 3 weeks.
But I know I can do better to help them, and it will probably start by taking time out of my schedule for units and lesson plans to give them opportunities to start assignments in class, to read their books, to - well - I don't know just yet, but I'm working on it. I guess that's the first sacrifice.
Today was an adventure that I'll be grateful for - in about 10 years.
But today... I'm just going to cry a little.
Sweet Cali, some of them wouldn't turn in the assignment if you did it for them and only asked them to submit it. You should always be reflective about where you could have done more, but sometimes this is the result and it's not your fault. Feel bad because the students you teach have a lot to learn about life and how this crazy system works and how to make it through, but don't feel bad about what you're doing. Sometimes you have to bank on the fact that you are making a difference and doing good, even if their grades don't show it.
ReplyDeleteTrust me, on days like this you feel like a failure. However, 7 years from now you'll run into one of these lovely kids working at the Smith's deli and she or he will tell you how they just started classes at UVU and they love it. Your jaw will drop because based on their performance in your class the realities of high school graduation didn't seem likely. However, some of them do make it. A lot of them make it. DOn't get discouraged.